A-camping we will go...

Been a long time fo' sho'. Managed to cross off another item off my list while away though. Went camping last week with Natasha, Lisa and Dorothy. We went to Massassauga Park near Parry Sound (http://www.ontarioparks.com/english/mass.html). Absolutely beautiful. Wrote a couple of blog entries on this trip:

Monday, July 28th

Left about an hour or so later than planned, what with having to pull over to re-secure the canoe, as well as having to make a 2nd coffee stop as my travel mug was inadvertently emptied by a foot during the canoe shenanigans.
We were meant to make that second stop though. As we were all walking in, I looked over at a good-looking guy sitting in a truck with a gorgeous black Lab. It turned out to be my friend Dan who I hadn't seen for 4, 5, maybe SIX YEARS! When last I saw him, fireman Dan was heading off on an adventurous trip to Oz, where as luck would have it, he tells me he met the woman (Kate?) who's now his wife. How cool is that? The depth of my excitement at this encounter kind of sums up how much I miss my old life. There was something carefree and exciting about it. As I write this I wonder if what I am experiencing is a nostalgia for a youth essentially well spent, and while that may be it, I think it speaks more to a time when I didn't find myself feeling so lonely or lost much of the time. Since coming back to Canada I have both found and lost the feeling/idea of direction and have more affixed myself to a me who I think I should be, rather than coming to terms with who I maybe really am.

Adventures in Camping
Reading maps has never really been my forte, but getting all turned around on the canoe trip in was unexpected. We missed the portage spot on our first try, and rather uncertainly found our site after. Setting up camp once we got here and everything since has been pretty easy - salmon in butter, fresh veggies with yummy couscous and vino for dinner, followed closely with hummus and then Pringles....who could ask for more?!
Trudging through the trees to the lovely latrine, aka thunder box, is an exercise in itself, and when I woke up at 3:16 in the dark needing to pee, there was just no way! To the nearest bush I went. Of course, my flashlight would choose then to peter out...

Day 2 - Tuesday, July 29th
I think the others were up by 8, me, not so much. I slept fitfully all night, was freezing in the AM, and felt as if some part of my neck had been broken during the night. The sound of bugs in my ears is slowly driving me insane and I really know now that I'm more of a cottager. At least you can "escape" nature in the PM (oh the sacrilege!). Will have to break it to Dorothy at some point.
Lisa, aka Ms Field and Stream 2008 showing off Dorothy and my resort.

Parental discontent

Just had a rather disturbing argument with my mom on the phone, stemming from her assertion that I am obviously not excited by (with?) her new relationship. Now in all honesty, I'm not. I am very happy that she's happy, think it's great she's found someone and all that jazz. Does there need to be more? These days I find I don't even look forward to our nightly chats as I always have - there is a permanent undercurrent that screams discontent with me and my "attitude." Thing is, I believe I have done all I should be required to do after all of six months of this relationship. Can't say I like the man, but then it's not for me to like or not like - I think the fact that my mom 's happy is all that matters. But I really don't think I need to be his new best friend either. But somehow I get the feeling that this is one I can never "win" in. I just want to be left alone to smile politely when I need to, but otherwise have it understood that I don't need a new daddy (now a sugardaddy...that's a whole different kettle of fish!!!!!).

Summertime with the girls

Adding to the list (or should that be removing?!) my first camping trip ever. Going on a canoe and camping trip with fellow doctoral students and friends Lisa, Dorothy and Natasha. Just received the following note from Dorothy who added this to my things to do list:

we are booked for campsite #7 for July 28 and 29 … the description of the site reads as follows:

++Very private in a large bay. + inviting fire pit near shore surrounded
by sloping higher rock. + deepwater swimming right off rocks.
+ protected and cozy feeling under whispering pines .

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh …now we pray for great weather …

Dorothy

Sweet! I think this will be crazy fun.

Two days ago I went to see Sex and the City with Colleen, Lisa and Rachel. It was funny and sad. Some of this turning forty stuff is going to be hard. Carrie being labeled a forty year old last-ditch bride by Vogue brought me to the "I'm going to die alone" place. I know much of the rawness is more about my general mood and need to focus on the positives, but I find some of this stuff really hard. Who knew?! Some of the clothing was insane!!! Samantha's Dante...dang.

Flickr Mosaic meme

1. Claudine Longet, 2. Sugar Loaf over Rio, 3. Dalswraith - Kew, 4. Aurorus Reflectus Colosseo, 5. Adrenalin junkie, 6. Jenny F. - Marble Floor, 7. Ben Kozel, Adventurer, 8. Caramel Macchiato Cheesecake, 9. Of Earth And Sea And The Oceans Free, 10. no alternative to life, 11. Cat attack(shrek puss in boot), 12. Vilafranca Del Cid

I never do memes, but I cam across this fun one at my online friends Zazazu's blog and I thought I’d play along. What a neat idea! Here's how it worked:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

The Questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your Flickr name

My Answers (the words I searched in Flickr):

Claudine
Sugar
Campi on College
Purple
David Beckham
Red wine
Amazon trek
Caramel cheesecake
Loved
Acceptance
Scared

Cid - cdineb was a failed search :-(

This could turn me into a crazed mosaic maker!!!!

Raising consciousness

Participated in a fund-raiser for Myanmar yesterday, organized by Farrukh Chistie, a first year doctoral student who is doing work around sustainability education. SUch an excellent event! I was glad to add my two cents to the discussion around international aid. I talked a bit about my experiences in Rwanda last year, telling the group some of the questions it raised for me around development - wondered at some of the motives of the people who went there or provided aid - was it coming from a good place, or were they there to 'save' the Africans? Were they truly providing services that could not be provided by locals? How important is it to aid agencies that their workers understand or learn what works and what doesn’t in different cultural settings? How helpful is the culture of “handouts” (aka checkbook development) that we as western nations have cultivated in far too many places?

Money to small business, or to NGOs does often help – while money to governments hurts as it often gets lost in a never-ending spiral. Too often, when one nation aids another it is based on a massive infusion of financial capital in return for the implementation of new policies. They often provide the right advice, but there is a trade-off, too. The nation with all the money often assumes the decision rights; but the responsibility for a nation’s future must always reside with the citizens of that nation, not with foreign advisors, and certainly not with its creditors and donors.

This sort of checkbook development confuses compassion and generosity with over-responsibility for fellow human beings. Explicitly or implicitly, the donor is telling them how to run their country, and in the process, without meaning to, can rob citizens of emerging nations of their most precious assets — dignity and self-reliance.

The disappointment I felt for many weeks in Rwanda was real. I was disappointed in CIDA for not ensuring that our skills would be taken advantage of, I was disappointed that the host institution didn’t recognize their opportunity to take that advantage, but moreso, I was disappointed by the lack of belief in the ability of the Rwandese…maybe instead of providing travel opportunities of a life time for us lucky grad students, CIDA could have activated the brains of a couple of young Rwandese and planted seeds for their future. Missing from the project and true of so many aid projects was any notion of sustainability. And so we keep having to provide the aid, provide the workers.

We often fail to acknowledge the value of those among us for whom we need to provide aid. We do not see in them their infinite possibilities. Instead we set them up for failure, we tell them until they believe us that they are not good enough and only we can provide what they need. I came back to Canada with a better understanding that homegrown economic and political freedoms are needed to allow Africans themselves to solve their own problems, and get them to a place where they don’t have to wait for us to figure out which western bandaid to apply to a very non-western context.

Other speakers addressed their own experiences - Nazia talked about working for 10 years in development in Pakistan, Luke Brown talked about his experiences in Malawi, Farrukh talked about the role of colonization and the west in deforestation among other things which are now leading to "natural" disasters, Alfred expanded on the notion of the unnaturalness of some aspects of natural disasters, and Dorothy talked about our guilt and complicity in making these things unfold, the importance of recognition and acceptance, but most importantly, healing. The talks were followed up b y some local poets doing their work, and the evening was wrapped up by the wonderful folk group Isabelle Gunn. I think we raised some decent coin, and the event was well attended and I think people had a good time and learned a great deal. Photos to follow.

Viva Las Vegas

As usual, been far too long between posts. Have managed to make it successfully to the end of the academic year (not that it makes a difference in my world really, just means I'm finally not teaching). Finally starting to have really nice weather - went today to Port Stanley with Craig, my first time out at the infamous beach. So much for getting work done today!
Last week was the May two-four weekend (i.e. Victoria Day) and I headed to Vegas with Colleen and Leanne, met up with Lisa there. A good, albeit tame time was had by all. Our first night, we arrived there sometime around 10 their time, and headed out to the club LAX at the Luxor. That was ok, just not as spectacular as I had expected Vegas club to be. We were there until 7 in the morning, and then up early to wander the strip. I think we walked a good 8 hours - checking out all the hotels etc.
That night we saw Le Reve - the most amazing show I can say I have ever seen! They make Cirque look like entertainment light. I spent most of the performance either gasping in awe or sitting there with my jaw dragging. Now I must be fair and point out that part of it was the sheer sexiness of the performers, but whatever it was, I was awed by the whole thing.


Didn't go out that night b/c everyone was so lame. The original plan was to go back to the hotel, grab dinner then head out (we were on the guest list for 4 clubs) , but first Colleen, then Leanne, then Lisa bailed. We had room service and crashed. For the next morning (at 7) Lisa and I booked a helicopter tour into the desert, flew over Lake Meade, the Hoover Dam and landed in the Grand Canyon, where we had mimosas and a picnic lunch. Definitely one of my life-highlights. Ended the weekend marathon walking again, although Lisa and I did gamble for a bit in the casino at Caesar's Palace, where I won at blackjack and sucked at roulette, coming away having found $20, parlayed it to $100 and promptly losing it all. So ya, had a good time - have seen the desert, have been to Vegas with Colleen...two more down.

Updating and revising list

· Driver’s license – how sad is that?! Cam's addition? Practice with Cam's car...lol

· Complete dissertation – especially since it will mean I won't owe Sean a bottle of champagne…sometime in my 40^th year.

· Take a canoe trip with Dorothy. Went camping (with canoing and portage included! - see post on August 5th) with Dorothy, Natasha and Lisa.

· Complete at least one marathon – since I have boinked on training for two so far. Will do Disney 2009 with Hanna since she'll be turning 30, and aiming for the rest of the TSs to join! - HANNA CRIS HEDS CAM AND I HAVE REGISTERED!!!! JULES IS COMING FOR SUPPORT.

· Do the midsummer night's run with Cam in practice for the marathon

· Overcome my swimming issues – this actually concerns me, I keep taking lessons, but it seems the second I find myself in water where I can’t see the bottom, I panic - TOOK LESSONS MAY-JUNE, WILL HAVE TO KEEP GOING SINCE IT STILL ISN'T "STICKING."

· Get back to training 4-5 times a week – it seems without a training partner to keep me accountable, I’m not doing this one well. Done.

· Get at least one article published – will be necessary if I want to get a good job in a year or so - Submitted an article on Mae Alexander's diary.

· Create a list of 100 things that make me happy ("stolen" from Zazazu's list)

· Fine art nudes – only if getting back to training works out!!

· At least one more tat

· Go snowboarding – been wanting to do this for 4 or 5 years, just haven’t had an opportunity

· Sponsor a child in the developing world

· Get on the job market – this includes looking at post-docs

· Maintain eye-contact and actually listen – weird how you can go through life not noticing how little you pay attention to the person directly in front of you! REALLY HAVE BEEN CONSCIOUS AND WORKING ON THIS ONE

· Develop a better relationship with Justis and his mom

· Visit Marrakesh Not going to be able to do this one - maybe in the 40th year?

· Visit the desert Done

• Go horseback riding

· Make better use of my time i.e. actually do more than a couple things in a day – set daily schedules and stick to them

· Pay off LOC

· Pay off credit cards – BMO Mastercard paid off December 20, 2007

· Write and mail at least one 'thinking of you' card each month

· Explore London this summer and quit being cranky about it.

· Stop taking cabs everywhere . FAILING MISERABLY!!!

· Call my Gran once a week and write down the things she tells me – too late, she died December 16^th.

· Learn more about wine - take a course in the fall

· Get back on a bicycle (Karen)

· Polar bear swim (Craig)

· Sky dive (Kelly)

· Flying trapeze (crazy Hanna!!)

· Visit Vegas (Colleen) Done

· Re-discover my creative voice...start writing again

· Do something about my slovenliness

· Spend quality time with Nathan and Jillian

· Spend some time with Sasha, Natasha and Joel

· Visit Kelly and John down East

· Quebec City (Cath)

· Have lots of sex (Sean)

· Bob (boB) - who am I to argue?!