Sunday, June 22, 2008

Parental discontent


Just had a rather disturbing argument with my mom on the phone, stemming from her assertion that I am obviously not excited by (with?) her new relationship. Now in all honesty, I'm not. I am very happy that she's happy, think it's great she's found someone and all that jazz. Does there need to be more? These days I find I don't even look forward to our nightly chats as I always have - there is a permanent undercurrent that screams discontent with me and my "attitude." Thing is, I believe I have done all I should be required to do after all of six months of this relationship. Can't say I like the man, but then it's not for me to like or not like - I think the fact that my mom 's happy is all that matters. But I really don't think I need to be his new best friend either. But somehow I get the feeling that this is one I can never "win" in. I just want to be left alone to smile politely when I need to, but otherwise have it understood that I don't need a new daddy (now a sugardaddy...that's a whole different kettle of fish!!!!!).

Friday, June 13, 2008

Summertime with the girls

Adding to the list (or should that be removing?!) my first camping trip ever. Going on a canoe and camping trip with fellow doctoral students and friends Lisa, Dorothy and Natasha. Just received the following note from Dorothy who added this to my things to do list:

we are booked for campsite #7 for July 28 and 29 … the description of the site reads as follows:

++Very private in a large bay. + inviting fire pit near shore surrounded
by sloping higher rock. + deepwater swimming right off rocks.
+ protected and cozy feeling under whispering pines .

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh …now we pray for great weather …

Dorothy

Sweet! I think this will be crazy fun.


Two days ago I went to see Sex and the City with Colleen, Lisa and Rachel. It was funny and sad. Some of this turning forty stuff is going to be hard. Carrie being labeled a forty year old last-ditch bride by Vogue brought me to the "I'm going to die alone" place. I know much of the rawness is more about my general mood and need to focus on the positives, but I find some of this stuff really hard. Who knew?! Some of the clothing was insane!!! Samantha's Dante...dang.

Flickr Mosaic meme

1. Claudine Longet, 2. Sugar Loaf over Rio, 3. Dalswraith - Kew, 4. Aurorus Reflectus Colosseo, 5. Adrenalin junkie, 6. Jenny F. - Marble Floor, 7. Ben Kozel, Adventurer, 8. Caramel Macchiato Cheesecake, 9. Of Earth And Sea And The Oceans Free, 10. no alternative to life, 11. Cat attack(shrek puss in boot), 12. Vilafranca Del Cid

I never do memes, but I cam across this fun one at my online friends Zazazu's blog and I thought I’d play along. What a neat idea! Here's how it worked:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

The Questions:

  1. What is your first name?
  2. What is your favorite food?
  3. What high school did you go to?
  4. What is your favorite color?
  5. Who is your celebrity crush?
  6. Favorite drink?
  7. Dream vacation?
  8. Favorite dessert?
  9. What you want to be when you grow up?
  10. What do you love most in life?
  11. One word to describe you.
  12. Your Flickr name

My Answers (the words I searched in Flickr):

Claudine
Sugar
Campi on College
Purple
David Beckham
Red wine
Amazon trek
Caramel cheesecake
Loved
Acceptance
Scared

Cid - cdineb was a failed search :-(

This could turn me into a crazed mosaic maker!!!!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Raising consciousness

Participated in a fund-raiser for Myanmar yesterday, organized by Farrukh Chistie, a first year doctoral student who is doing work around sustainability education. SUch an excellent event! I was glad to add my two cents to the discussion around international aid. I talked a bit about my experiences in Rwanda last year, telling the group some of the questions it raised for me around development - wondered at some of the motives of the people who went there or provided aid - was it coming from a good place, or were they there to 'save' the Africans? Were they truly providing services that could not be provided by locals? How important is it to aid agencies that their workers understand or learn what works and what doesn’t in different cultural settings? How helpful is the culture of “handouts” (aka checkbook development) that we as western nations have cultivated in far too many places?

Money to small business, or to NGOs does often help – while money to governments hurts as it often gets lost in a never-ending spiral. Too often, when one nation aids another it is based on a massive infusion of financial capital in return for the implementation of new policies. They often provide the right advice, but there is a trade-off, too. The nation with all the money often assumes the decision rights; but the responsibility for a nation’s future must always reside with the citizens of that nation, not with foreign advisors, and certainly not with its creditors and donors.

This sort of checkbook development confuses compassion and generosity with over-responsibility for fellow human beings. Explicitly or implicitly, the donor is telling them how to run their country, and in the process, without meaning to, can rob citizens of emerging nations of their most precious assets — dignity and self-reliance.

The disappointment I felt for many weeks in Rwanda was real. I was disappointed in CIDA for not ensuring that our skills would be taken advantage of, I was disappointed that the host institution didn’t recognize their opportunity to take that advantage, but moreso, I was disappointed by the lack of belief in the ability of the Rwandese…maybe instead of providing travel opportunities of a life time for us lucky grad students, CIDA could have activated the brains of a couple of young Rwandese and planted seeds for their future. Missing from the project and true of so many aid projects was any notion of sustainability. And so we keep having to provide the aid, provide the workers.

We often fail to acknowledge the value of those among us for whom we need to provide aid. We do not see in them their infinite possibilities. Instead we set them up for failure, we tell them until they believe us that they are not good enough and only we can provide what they need. I came back to Canada with a better understanding that homegrown economic and political freedoms are needed to allow Africans themselves to solve their own problems, and get them to a place where they don’t have to wait for us to figure out which western bandaid to apply to a very non-western context.

Other speakers addressed their own experiences - Nazia talked about working for 10 years in development in Pakistan, Luke Brown talked about his experiences in Malawi, Farrukh talked about the role of colonization and the west in deforestation among other things which are now leading to "natural" disasters, Alfred expanded on the notion of the unnaturalness of some aspects of natural disasters, and Dorothy talked about our guilt and complicity in making these things unfold, the importance of recognition and acceptance, but most importantly, healing. The talks were followed up b y some local poets doing their work, and the evening was wrapped up by the wonderful folk group Isabelle Gunn. I think we raised some decent coin, and the event was well attended and I think people had a good time and learned a great deal. Photos to follow.